When Doubt Paralyzes Me

I wrote the last week or two about how I attended BlogHer16 in L.A. I went because as someone who has been writing blogs for many years, I wanted to learn the business side of it, and I want to know what I don't know. I learned plenty, but one of the things that was said to me over and over is, "Why aren't you doing more live and video streaming?" My answer was, "I don't know that I have anything that interesting to broadcast." Of course, the replies were everything from hysterical laughter (I hope in a good way), to why/what do you write about? A week ago Friday I posted a live spot on Facebook, a little motivational piece and then last Friday I went live from Moonraker with The Menace playing a concert. That gave me the idea to do a weekly "woman on the street" type of show where I can go to different places and review food, showcase a special event, answer a question someone has about a place (by going there and showing the who or what), or any number of other things. The idea is to do something consistently so people who are interested know when to be tuning in. Why blog and broadcast live? For me it is a creative outlet, a way to share with people who I am, my interests, their interests, and ultimately document my journey. That's how the Monday Motivator (really all my blogs) started and why I keep writing them. I love the idea but when it comes time to take action, I get nervous and think, "this is stupid. Nobody is interested in me, what I am doing, my life, my activities." As far as writing my blogs, if no one reads them, who cares? I write them as documentation for myself and my family. If I go live, will people think, "Really? Who does she think she is?" #InsecuritySucks! But then I also think, "Why not me?" There are many people with far less interesting lives than I live that seem to hold an audiences attention. Or the people who broadcast inaccurate or really stupid content...I can do better than that. So with that said (seriously, I get nervous! I'm nervous at the thought of hitting post!) I'm going to do it, I'm going to set a day and time to go live and start finding some interesting places to go, people to talk to, things to show you, I don't know, something. I'm going to do it. I am. Yes. Me. And you. I'm stalling to hit post. Why does doubt paralyze me? And then I copied this as I had to ask Dave to read it and tell me if he thinks I'm crazy, which I know he does. And he confirms it. He also thinks I hesitate because I know I am busy and committing to one more thing will add pressure to my already busy life. As I think about what he's said and I even agree with him, I mentally protest. Yes, I am someone who takes on lots of projects, some because I have to and some because I want to. If I only do the things I have to do, my life would be made up of just making ends meet and getting by. To accept that would mean there is no hope for something to look forward to, something new. I can't live like that, I need more. I want a life that is extraordinary in people, in love, in experiences, in every way. To have the life I want, I have to take chances, work extra hours sometimes, I have to put myself out there to the opinions of others and likely rejection. I've failed, you all know that! You've experienced it with me with ZipperBack Gloves as one example. I've started lots of projects that never came to fruition, but I learned something or met someone each and every time. I don't know how to live my life any other way than all in. I don't start a project or investigate a new idea with the thought that it might not work. I move forward with the vision that it will work, it will succeed, it will be. In the event it is not to be, I experience that and the emotions that come with it if it comes. I suppose it's not just about being in the moment, it's about feeling what is appropriate for what is happening right now and being able to move through those highs and lows. With all of this said, I'm going to do it. I'm going to figure out what I want to do, say, and share and I'm going to do it. Yep, I am. Soon. Laughing! Real soon.