We're Only Divided On TV

I have to say, I have never been more convinced of the way the media is working to manipulate and control the public in an effort to divide us. 

Traveling this year (and every other trip I've EVER been on), all I've observed and experienced is people helping people. All ethnicities, modes of clothing, skin colors, genders, and whatever else you can see that differentiates us as humans. People opening doors for each other, picking up dropped items, carrying bags up or downstairs for individuals who appear to be struggling...this happening in airports, in the subway stations and on the streets in NY, in restaurants, in taxi cabs, "No, after you" at a door or escalator, everywhere! 

This post is not to dismiss the very real issues happening in specific areas of the world, but I have to wonder what the real numbers are versus the way the information is being reported.  I absolutely believe that people are basically good, and the masses make up those numbers. When tragedy strikes, we don't see reports of first responders and good samaritans rushing to help to ask, "What is your religion?" or "Are you gay or straight?" or "Sorry dude, you're black/white" before extending a hand of allowing them in a rescue vehicle. 

Just such a clear realization as I continue to look around me and see people helping people, loving people, and smiling at people.

Happy 17th Birthday Mason!

Mason turned 17 this week, how is that possible? I know it is, but I don’t have to like it. The truth is, I don’t like it but not for the reasons you might think. It’s not that I miss his sweet little-boy voice, or his funny kid logic (he still has that!), or the way he used to hold my hand or want to cuddle and watch tv. I absolutely miss those things, but parenting a teenager is hard! They are following their natural evolution to separate from their parents, to develop their independence, and to find their sense of who they are outside of us as their trusted guardians. It’s interesting that they are now trusting us to let them go, to let them fly and fail. These processes don’t always go smoothly! LOL! I can laugh in this moment, but there are times it's not funny. We are yelling, crying, saying not-so-nice things to each other and all because it's hard for them to pull away and it's hard for us to let go. The Irony is that they want to be away from us and we want them to fly, it's just the human condition, we are emotional so it's not easy.

With that said, I love this kid, I love him with all that I am. It’s different than romantic love but as intense for sure. It is this time in life that I recognize the constant questioning of Dave and I is his ability to question authority respectfully. He speaks his mind and has the ability to articulate his feelings when they are good and when they are not happy. How many 16-year-olds do you know that will sit face to face with their military father and say, “ I know you’re dealing with tough things, I know you’re dealing with your aging father and a teenage son. I’m sorry for what I contribute to your grief. But if you are going to go to counseling, I want to go with you. I know your things are much bigger than mine but that doesn’t make my challenges nothing. If we can go together I believe we can come out stronger.“ Holy shit! I didn’t even know what to say. Full disclosure, those are not exactly the words Mason used, but darn close. I think Dave would testify to this. 

It doesn’t matter if I got it exactly right, the fact of the matter is his intention was and is to be united. He’s an incredibly mature soul and I know he’s going to succeed wildly whether he chooses to be an auto mechanic or the President of the United States. I hope he doesn’t choose the latter, because my family has such a colorful history, I can’t even imagine the fun the media would have.    

Happy 17th Birthday Mason,
your dad and I adore you. I know this last year has been rough but it’s 2020 son, what can I say? I do love you, I know you know. I hope your day was good.

I Love Being A Boy Mom

I love my son and I was over the moon when I had this baby boy. I fully expected we would have another baby and I won’t lie, I wanted a girl. When I realized another baby was not in the cards, I would make jokes about putting cherry dresses on Mason and dressing him in girls' clothes before he was old enough to know what I was doing. I didn’t do it!! LOL! 

Ultimately I’ve learned that my relationship with my boy is crazy wild fulfilling. Mason will get a pedicure with me, and as you can see here, I love going to Pick and Pull with him. We cook together and celebrate holiday traditions. 

Mason‘s dad is not as mechanically inclined (that’s not a diss, he totally could do it he just doesn’t want to.) as I am and now that’s something Mason and I share. Mason is currently working on restoring a 1983 Toyota Celica Supra and I think that’s super cool. 

There comes a point in time when you look at what you think you want and you look at what you got, and you recognize that you did well. How many other areas of our lives can we see this? We think we wanted one thing, we got something else, and it was perfect. He will be 17 years old tomorrow! Where did the time go?

And for a taste of the roller-coaster that my life can be sometimes...

This was one-day last week - it took the energy of a whole week in my work life! LOL!

My day today in real estate... 

Buyer this morning at 8 AM:  "How soon can we close? Are you sure title is closed today? Can we close tomorrow then?" 

Me - "Yes, title is closed but we'll make sure our file is complete and get things lined up tomorrow."

Buyer - "thumbs up"

11:15 AM: "How soon can we get in to measure for paint and carpet?"

12:45 PM: Live phone call -  "We want to cancel. We think there is something better out there." 

Me - "Wha? Huh? What? What did you say?"

Buyer - "I know it sucks, we only removed all contingencies yesterday so it's not been that long, yeah, bottom line, what do we need to do to cancel?"

Me - "Yes, all contingencies removed means what you need to do is close escrow. I'm happy to re-list the house for you." 

Buyer - "No, call me back with how we cancel."

Me to Sellers almost 5 hours later - "There is no easy way to say this, the buyers want to cancel."

Sellers - @#&((%6(%7)&#_@*!!

Me - "I completely understand."

One hour later (now almost 7 PM)

Buyer - "We're really sorry, we still want the house. Can we un-cancel?"

Me - "You're not canceled, I'm still trying to figure out the bottom line for you to get out." 

Buyer - "Oh no, we don't want out. Can we just pretend the earlier call never happened?"

Me - "We could if I had not spoken to the sellers. I'm sure they will be totally happy to just move on and close escrow this week."

Buyer - "Oh good, because we really feel bad, but are you sure we're not canceled?"

Me - "Yes, I'm sure we're not canceled. Are you okay?"

Buyer - Crying, can't talk. 

And that was just one part of my day!

This year we’ll have been married 19 years. I’m so super lucky that my guy still courts me, plans dates, tells me I’m beautiful, and brings me flowers. This is my favorite season of the year so it’s no surprise that our anniversary is November 9th and our wedding theme was fall leaves. 

What and/or who are you falling in love with?

This week was also so awesome because I got to share a meal with my two most longtime best friends. We were celebrating Jules completion of her PA education and testing from Yale University. We’ve been friends since I was 9 years old. 

I believe there are a few Masters degrees in that list of fancy pieces of paper as well, so Lauren and I bought her a fine bottle of bubbly to show her how freeking proud of her we are!! 

Julie and I met in the 5th grade and Lauren was in the 4th. I’m thinking we’ve all been friends for 42 years! How is that even possible? I don’t know but I feel so lucky to be in such incredible company.

Happy Fall!

Happy Fall! Some believe that we do not have a choice about how we feel, that we cannot choose to be happy when times are bad. I know we can. 

I know there are absolutely times that it’s completely appropriate to feel bad. Bad can be sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, and any other myriad of lower-tone emotions. 

To be living and stuck in any one emotion is not healthy, be it positive and happy or down and sad. A healthy individual moves between many emotions in the emotional tone scale as is appropriate for the specific situation. To be happy all the time is as unhealthy as it is to be in grief for an extended period of time. I’m not putting timelines on either of these hypothetical situations, but I am saying to stay in any one emotion is not healthy.

You Can't Have It Both Ways

We all need to realize this at some point. It usually comes later in life, but not always. Make the choice but understand with that choice comes the responsibility for the outcome. You can't live your life on both sides of the coin, "This is my choice, my life. It's not my fault." Nope, doesn't work that way. I love taking responsibility for my choices, it's the only way I maintain the ability to change them. 

By continuing to live quietly, one will never feel fully alive, one will not fully live. We don't have to all be extroverts shouting our stories, but we can all speak our truth without shame. Can we? Can you tell the whole truth about yourself without fear or feeling shame?

"I'm Helping!" It's What Makes Me Happy!

I’m only going to get one more “First Day of School” picture after this one. 11th grade, here he comes! 

Then this happened…

This week I helped a real estate client to consider another possibility for marketing her property. I helped another real estate client negotiate a request for repairs to have all contingencies removed. I spoke with another former client about how we can sell their house and then we discussed logo and website ideas for his new business. I helped a friend recreate her resume after a devastating layoff, I helped another agent find the right words to craft an offer for her new clients. Finally, it’s time to support a local restaurant and enjoy some time with friends. Things are good folks, things are good.