It's the Eve of New Years Eve

Another new year is upon us, and I know they must really be going faster when my now 16 year old son is noting how fast 2019 went. Christmas was a whirlwind and it was less fun than years past because it seemed as if there was all the same amount of stuff to do only not as much time to do it all.

Of course I knew this would be the case when we decided to take a 15 day cruise from December 3rd to the 18th, but I don't think I really knew how much there would be to do. More so is the pressure I tend to feel because I am the only one in my family who does not truly enjoy all the store bought gifts that make up the bulk of the holiday for most people, including Dave and Mason. All of you who know us, you know Dave is a shopper, Mason is a kid (Christmas = gifts), and I would rather tap into all the feels of the season. Some of those feels can be a gift, but more so for me it's the baking, the decorating cookies, making ornaments, decorating the tree, watching the Hallmark Christmas programs, and trying to find a gift or two that will really touch the recipient, maybe even evoke some real emotion. What happens is, we gather around the tree on Christmas morning and there are easily 5 gifts for me, 5 for Mason to every 1 gift for Dave - it feels awful! Dave says he doesn't care but a day or two later he will talk to the dog (with me sitting right there with them) and say, "Papa didn't get any candy in his stocking..." Grrrr! He says he doesn't care, but he does.

I made it clear a number of years ago that I just financially cannot keep up with the gift-giving rivalry and that I didn't want to even try. Mason gives us a list and more often than not, one gift will wipe out the gift budget and there likely is not money to buy 2 or 3 of his suggested gifts. I stopped hounding the boys to not shop for themselves after Halloween (for fear that I already purchased a gift and then they would purchase it for themself and spoil my gift come Christmas) and told them that I would buy them something if it really spoke to me for them or I would give the way I want to give... and sometimes that gift may be the gift of nothing. Yes, it's a real gift!

I can't tell you how many times I've purchased fun little things for Mason only to find them in his garbage can or the box to donate to Goodwill a few weeks after Christmas. Really?! The last two years I bought Dave really thoughtful gifts, things he had mentioned on numerous occasions he would like to have, one was a metal detector and the other was for his birthday the following June, 2 fishing poles. The metal detector didn't come out of the box until after his birthday, and that was when I gave him the fishing poles. He has not used the metal detector yet (Mason took it out of the box), and the fishing poles are collecting dust in the garage. He will argue that he doesn't have time to use them but it's common knowledge that we all have the same 24 hours in a day and Dave no longer works full time. Does this hurt my feelings? A little bit, but it more so validates that we don't need all the things and in fact, we don't even really want them. We think we want them, but truth be told, what Dave spends his time doing is socializing with his friends, he spends his time at Pete's watching football with the other fans, and the same when Football is not in season and NASCAR is on. We have a full bar at home with a kegerator and the NFL ticket. He's hungry for the social time, the comradery, and even the rivalry between teams and or drivers.

Isn't it ironic that I want to celebrate Christmas with my people doing the things that we have come to love about the season (holidays) and he wants things, though he doesn't use the things because he wants to spend his days with his people sharing the things that they love about the season (football/NASCAR)? For the record, Dave gets really meaningful and thoughtful gifts, he just typically gets so many of them! LOL! This year he bought a recreation of my favorite dog Riley... it's strangely awesome. I went to WalMart and bought Dave 5 boxes of Mike N Ike Sours and even though they weren't in his stocking, he seemed pleased to have his own candy. It's a small price to pay to make my man happy and now we can put Christmas away for another year.

In other fun news, the film Mason shot over 2 years ago has finally been released in theatres across the country, APParition is a thriller based on the true story of the events at Preston Castle in Ione, CA. Seven boys went missing and Mason played one of the boys in the reform school. We've been able to see it in a few early premieres and it's really something to be proud of. I don't think Mason will keep working in the film industry, but this film gave him a real taste of what that looks like. I'm glad he got to have the opportunity, it was fun for all of us.

I wish you a happy new year and smooth roads to whatever goals or resolutions you may see for yourself. I know I have big plans for myself in 2020 and us Partaks have some pretty exciting things on tap as well. I'll share more about all of that in January. Welcome 2020!