Monday, October 29, 2018

Mason's First Movie Premiere!

I am so excited to share with you all that we went to a special screening of APParition last night at the IMAX theater. This is Mason's first film and screening. I'm not a fan of horror films, but whatever, I couldn't wait!!  Seeing Mason on the big screen surrounded by so many amazingly talented, creative people was indescribable. A defining moment in both of our lives for completely different reasons for sure. Thank you to Sally Forcier and Mark S. Allen for giving Mason the opportunity of his life, sincerely. The only thing that put a damper on the evening was that Dave got pretty violently ill just before we were supposed to leave the house and physically couldn’t come. 

I'm sure it was also intentional that the screening is just days before Halloween, that makes complete sense. Other than decorations for the house, we don't have much else going on. We are leaving for vacation on the 2nd of November and are looking so forward to visiting North Carolina and Tennessee. For now, we will revel in the premiere of Mason's first movie and get ready for lots of little ghosts and ghouls coming to trick or treat!

Monday, October 22, 2018

Happy 15th Birthday Mason

15 years ago Mason Bonham Partak came into this world, immediately placed in his daddy's arms, he smiled. Well, I don't know if he smiled, I was knocked out and filleted like a fish, but I will tell my tale as if he did. 🙂
This kid has been strong-willed from day one, smart, funny, kind, and a pain in our asses from the time he realized he could be. He is courageous, he takes chances, he seems fearless (well, except for that time he insisted on riding the sheep, but then got in the chute and cried to not have to ride the sheep!), and he has already made a huge impact on this world in more ways than one.
Mason, I am not loving your teenage years - you test me, but you still make me proud. You make me cry, you make me laugh, and you practice some serious dumbassery. I do my best to not kill you. But no matter what you face in the coming years, I will always love you. I am so thankful that you are my son, you are the best of your dad and I and you are a rock star! Set this world on fire kid, you have work to do and it will all be noteworthy, I just know it. 

Monday, October 15, 2018

Good Bye Ty

You know, I'm sitting here crying thinking about Ty Rowe and his family and our town and how polarized this world is right now. The fact of the matter is that we as people and a community are allowing the politicians and media to divide us. Why? We don't hate, we don't judge before we help, we are not the political agendas of those who live their lives for personal gain. Our family has been treated badly by a select few in this town and it's so sad to me that people feel the need to be mean simply for the sake of being mean. Ty, I can hear you telling me today like you've told me so many times before, "Fuck 'em, Kathy. You and Dave are amazing people with a family and life that most would kill for. Keep being awesome you and fuck 'em." People, choose your words carefully, they are powerful, they touch people deeply, be kind.

Ty passed away after a short illness and I am simply devastated. He mentored Mason in the world of food and he was a true friend to Dave and I like few other people. Rest in peace Ty, you will be missed more than most. You touched lives deeply, mine for sure. 

Monday, October 8, 2018

The Reality of Mid-Life As a Woman

We all have those moments in life when we are hit with the reality of something, in fact, most of us have several of those moments in our lives that can be very profound, maybe even life-changing. For me, they have been coming like rapid fire. Several of my dear friends have been very ill or passed away and it's made me see my own mortality coming sooner than I'd like to admit.

I've mentioned menopause here several times in the recent past and indeed it has been a major life event. Outside of the things you hear about like hot flashes, weight gain, and moodiness, there are a number of things that nobody tells you or really talks about. Maybe because the connection is not made or the women experiencing it are too embarrassed or frightened to tell anyone. Let me share a few of the "little known" menopause symptoms, some I've *personally experienced and learned that a number of women in my secret group on FB have experienced as well.
  • *High blood pressure
  • *Panic attacks
  • *Anxiety
  • Vertigo
  • *Debilitating joint pain
  • Hair loss (all body hair)
  • Vaginal atrophy
  • Sexual aversion (more than lack of interest)
  • All kinds of skin rashes
  • *Depression
  • Emotionally numb
  • Insomnia
  • Migraines
  • *Periods (erratic) that stop, start, go for 20 days, stop for 2 days, go for 9 days, etc.
  • *Body odor (horrible body odor)
  • *Bad breath
  • *Rage/Grief
  • The sense of pending doom
  • *The sense of imminent death - this one for me came in my dreams almost every night for more than a year.
  • Age Spots
  • Lethargy
  • Nausea
  • Dental pain/teeth breaking
Most women start menopause (peri-menopause) in their late 40s, early 50s, menopause is typically in her 50s and runs on average for 10-15 years. Sit with that for a minute, 10-15 years!!! It started for me at early 48 and at almost 5 years in, it's not as bad as it was, the hormones have alleviated the hot flashes, anxiety/panic attacks, rage/grief, and I am taking a low dose of blood pressure medication. I don't love that, but I'm not sure what to do with that for now. The body odor, bad breath, and my periods are just a matter of diligent management. I've not had dreams of imminent death since we moved into this new house in January of 2016 but once or twice, so that's been an improvement. 

With all of that said, why isn't more of this information mainstream? This is not just my experience, this is thousands of women around the world! Our medical community is not serving women once we are outside of our childbearing years, and it is simply not acceptable. We need to speak up and step up to be heard. We also need to speak up and step up for other women. I am doing that here, I want women who have not reached this age yet to know when (and if) their time comes, what is happening, and to know, not only is it normal, it will be okay. Estrogen, progestogen, and testosterone are decreasing and our bodies are adjusting. It will be different for each of us so just know, as the time comes, tune in and expect the unexpected, ask questions, don't be afraid to talk to the women in your life, and insist your doctor test your blood for these hormone levels. 

Monday, October 1, 2018

Quotes That Resonate

"If you have lost confidence in your ability to win, make a list, not of the factors that are against you, but of those that are for you. Your inner power will reassert itself and lift you from defeat to victory." Norman Vincent Peale
I posted this a year ago on my social media feed and it could not be truer today. I had lost confidence not only in my ability to win but in my ability to show up. I revisited this and practiced what I believe, not what I was feeling. Menopause has been the hardest thing I have gone through in my life, but through some trial and error with my amazing doctor, we have found a good combination of hormones and I am feeling so much more like myself, except for the weight gain, that's nothing like me, it's awful! LOL! I'm not sure what to do about that, I mean, I know you will advise me to eat "right" and exercise but I'm doing that and I'm not only not losing any weight, I'm gaining more. It's humbling to be in this situation and to hear my doctor tell me I am completely healthy, not to worry about it.
"You just keep getting fatter, don't worry about it."
I don't want to talk about that, I will stay the course, keep eating right, going to the gym and see where this goes, but if my weight gets to 200 lbs, I'm going back to the doctor and letting her know it's not okay and I am worried about it. Come on inner power, I'm counting on you!