Tough Decisions

So when writing a personal blog, I sometimes am faced with whether or not to write my truth (knowing it may hurt some and certainly not show some in their best light), or find something nice to say and omit how it really went. The something nice is not a lie, but it's also a far cry from the truth. What do you think, write it nicely or write it how I experienced it? The other option is to write both and publish them at different times. Write the nice version now, and how I really lived it later.

Many believe that just because I write about my experiences, that does not give me the right to write about other's lives. Hmmm, that's seriously deep! I get it, but how do I tell my story if I can't write about those who are in my life or my daily interactions? Be a writer who is creative and smart with my choice of words I suppose.  So the anonymity cannot be protected. And yes, truth is perception and with that, there are situations or a collection of situations that most all involved have agreed on what occurred. In this case, my mother in law just passed away and hers was the only funeral I've ever been to where I didn't cry. She didn't like me and did really mean things through the years. At the service, listening to a number of people talk about how generous, kind, and loving she was, left me empty. The only thing I may have teared up about is that I didn't get to know those things in her.

She loved Dave and Mason but was just fine when I stayed home. Sharing on a private page is safe as those who may be hurt aren't my "friends." And to be clear, there is a message and lesson in the story. Not only is it the real experience of my life, it's made me realize what I need to know for my future relationship with whoever Mason chooses. How would you behave differently if you knew it were being documented (this person did)? Either via social media or film? Would you make different choices? In my case, I think the subject person was really only nasty toward me, so they may not think they needed to behave any differently - but even if I am the only person sharing those misdeeds, would you want them made public? Would it be okay to stand up at your funeral and tell the truth? I think this is the message I want to share, I want people to feel free to stand up and tell the truth about me, and if I misbehaved, I hope they spoke up in the moment and gave me the opportunity to say, "Yes, I meant that and this is why." or, "I'm so sorry, this is a misunderstanding and this is what I really meant to say." One friend noted that not everyone who interacts with me wants our relationship plastered on social media. Why not? If you behave in an honorable way all the time, who cares if it's shared? And if it's a misunderstanding, I'm not likely to share and throw one under the bus. Their reply was thought provoking and completely valid, "It has nothing to do with honor. I may be a very private person who doesn't want the things I say and the interactions I have with someone else spread across social media. There could be a myriad of reasons, none of which have to do with my behavior but merely my desire to not be discussed in a public...or, for that matter, private forum. Plus, you are sharing from your perspective. You can call it truth all you want but it can only ever be your perspective and not necessarily the other person's truth. If you have something that needs to be said to a specific person, seek them out and with love in your heart, express your needs, boundaries, desires, hurt or whatever you feel you need to say. But do it in private. Don't expose those who, given the opportunity, would choose to not be dragged thru a public forum. I believe THAT is real honor and respect for another's feelings. There are a million reasons someone wouldn't want to have their feelings and behavior "outed." I think that is a personal decision that each individual gets to make on his/her own behalf. No one should make that decision for you and worse yet, act on it by printing unwanted information in a public forum."

 What do you do? Even if you don't write in a public forum, do you keep your mouth shut just to keep the peace? Certainly, there are times that don't matter, but what about those other times?