Keep On Keep'n On

To continue from last week, let me say that things got better, but not much clearer. I know all is well, that my family is safe and healthy and with that we are happy. The struggle is mine and likely the same journey we are all on to find our life purpose and with that, who each of us are. I want a manual! You know, a Kathy Partak for Dummies book. Ha! If it were only that easy you say.

I am working on settling in where I am and accepting all things. Surrendering, letting go, letting be. I got some really great support from all of you last week and thought it was so good, I would share a little of it with you, too. Alice sent me this really great piece.

In an interview, Bill Withers talks about giving advice to his kids, "It's okay to head to 'wonderful' but on your way to 'wonderful' you'll have to pass through 'all right' and when you get there, take a look around and get used to it because that's as far as you may go." I keep that in mind because I like to look around and then to appreciate this life I have and all my blessings.

And from my Flower Dave - these loving words with this link: The Law of Sacrifice
I encourage you to click the link and read the article, it's good!

"Honey, I am sorry to hear that you are blue and frustrated with your situation. I heard about this and to some degree it resonates with me and my ethic but I think it also applies to you and your ethics. The Snookies of the world will have fleeting fame and squander what fortune they may make but we will have the true meaning of fortune, even if we don't have two pennies to rub together. We did it the hard and honest way. I love you, Dave"
So today what I have to motivate you is to remember that while we struggle to seek that which is outside of us, we all realize at some point that it's what's inside that really matters. And when we get comfortable right where we are, we can then feel the love that is there for us - like so much of the love you all sent me last week. Thank you!

Through several more disappointments this week I've decided to spend the next three weeks with Mason enjoying the last bits of summer vacation concentrating less on work and projects. We will go to Alameda this coming weekend for the Park Street Art & Wine Fair and then we're off to LegoLand on August 11th for two days. Heck, we might even squeeze in an evening at the State Fair this week before it closes. I hope your summer is going well and you are fining time to enjoy the long days and warm nights.

24 Years Of Poobahs

Happy Day! It's the week following Poobah so to say I was tired (more like busy) yesterday would be a gross understatement. I kept telling myself to sit and write but the laundry, dishes, and unpacking just seemed to keep going, or coming. Exactly! It was that kind of manic Monday.

This was the 24th Grand Poobah and the last one I will be organizing. It seems that there are enough people who enjoy the event as much as I do that they have put together a committee to carry on the annual camping trip into year 25. I'm happy to know that for a number of reasons, mostly because I look forward to seeing everyone and camping. Also because Mason is now at an age where he is able to be a bit more independent and that makes the weekend so much more fun for him. He learned to sail the laser this weekend, all by himself. I was so proud of him, he took the initiative to take the little sailboat out by himself, at one point it flipped and he followed the directions of Mike and Rob (two separate times) to right the boat, get it back on course and keep on sailing. What a young man he is growing into! On Friday night he was so tired he went to put his pajamas on and come back out by the fire. I asked him why he changed if he wasn't ready for bed. He replied, "Mom, I'm so tired but I don't want to miss any fun so I will come out in my pajamas just in case I fall asleep in my chair by the fire." I assured him it was safe to call it a night as we had all of Saturday and night to look forward to. The look of sleepy relief on his face as he crawled into his sleeping bag was worth it's weight in gold. We celebrated the 80s with big hair, bright crazy colors, and blue eye shadow. It was nutty fun.

I have been in a bit of a slump the last week or two. This has been a period in my life of deep reflection and many conflicting realizations. Many of you know me to be an optimist, entrepreneur, and go-getter. All of that is true, though I feel like I work hard, believe in my efforts and succeed at few. How am I defining success you might ask? I'm asking that very question, too. I am wildly successful in love, marriage, family and friends. How many (monetarily) wealthy people would give every cent they have for what I have in this area of life? I don't know but I suppose some would. I certainly wouldn't trade my love for money. With that said, is this my lot in life? Is the big man (or woman, Mason is sure God is a woman) upstairs looking down wondering why I spin my wheels working to gain monetary wealth when I have my blessings already? Are there Haves and Have-Nots in terms of financial security? Do some people make money easily while others, no matter what they do, just never seem to get out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle? Are we predestined to a future or can we truly control the outcome of our lives? And how do we know where we land is not predetermined? Look at reality show characters like "Snooki" (from Jersey Shores - I don't watch, but when I hear news like "Snooki paid more to speak at Rutgers than Pulitzer Prize Winner Toni Morrison." I have to wonder.) making millions of dollars for being a ditz. Her advice to Rutgers students, "Study hard but party harder." Really? I'm a loan modification expert who can really help people sort through the foreclosure crisis but in California, it's illegal for me to charge for this kind of help, even crazier, I'm at risk of fines, losing my real estate license and more for giving my services away!

This is starting to ramble and I don't want to sound ungrateful, I'm not. Someone said to me once that entrepreneurs spend all the money they ever make trying to make more money and most never do. What I'm contemplating is if I need to let go of my lofty dreams and revel more in the love of my husband, son and friends. Let go of ideas of disposable income and just be happy where I am. Can I live without goals? And can I have aspirations that I don't believe can come true? If so, what's the point? To be, or not to be? That is the question.

Poobah Pictures

Summer's In Full Swing!

Happy Monday! Summer is in full swing, kids are driving us crazy and we parents are already looking at the calendar and longing for the normal routines of school days! Well, maybe not everyday, just the ones that end in "Y." I'm pretty happy with our arrangement this summer, Mason goes to the Boys and Girls Club and he really enjoys it. The people there are just great, they always have fun projects going and the price is right! I can't say enough good things about this organization and the people we have here in Auburn.

This week has been all about getting ready for our Grand Poobah weekend - the final Grand Poobah coming up this weekend. The event started in 1988 so we are going out with an 80s theme. Big hair, Miami Vice pastels, leg warmers and bright colors, this is going to be one wacky camping trip! After 24 years, it's time to let somebody else start something new. I'll post lots of pictures next week.

The other big project that's been on my calendar is my Intentional Winning television show idea. I pitched the idea to a production company who liked what they heard but asked me to show them my vision, basically, what I heard them say is, "Shoot a pilot or episode and show us what you see." Well, I'm certainly not set up with equipment or education to do this, but I have a camera and I certainly have a vision, so okay. I finished shooting on Friday and learned some basic editing over the weekend. I'm submitting the video in three parts today. Wish me good fortune and a great big YES! I'll keep you posted! For now, visit my blog to see a funny little clip with Mason as Director (self appointed), I promise, it will make you smile!

Today I am off to Vacaville to see some friends from high school and let our kids play while we picnic and visit. Facebook has been a great place to reconnect and help arrange little get togethers like the one we are having today, and for that I am grateful. What are you grateful for today? I hope you summer is moving along smoothly and you are enjoying all the long days, warm nights, and fruits & veggies that this time of year brings. I know I am!

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July friends! This has been an absolute joy of a weekend. We had no set plans except we knew we would plant ourselves at the overlook to watch fireworks tonight. Dave played in a game tournament on Saturday while Mason and I ran errands and had ice cream - his first chocolate dipped from Fosters Freeze. Sunday we did some t-shirt making and swimming. The day wrapped up in the most wonderful way, our neighbor Amy popped over to ask a question and that turned into the whole family joining us for dinner on the deck. We've been trying to plan to get together for dinner for months to no avail. Sometimes things just work themselves out beautifully.


Today we all slept in, Mason camped out in the tent on the deck last night and after dipping patriotic themed strawberries for a party later today, we went to see Super 8 - a good film but maybe scary for little ones. It's shaping up to be the perfect mix of taking it easy and participating in the local festivities kind of holiday.


If we are friends on Facebook, you may have noticed a post about difficult decisions and tough times. I wrote, "Stressful times - tasks need confronting and completing but the completion comes with a heavy heart. For every task I complete, there seems to be another (often more than one) unknown lingering. I know we will all be fine, but it doesn't make life's tough times easier. (This post is not just for me, so many of us are dealing with difficult times)" I thought about this last night as we dined on a delicious dinner on our deck overlooking the canyon with dear friends...no matter what issues need your attention, as long as they are things that have to do with things, we're in good shape. Healthy, happy and loved! What more can one ask for, really? That's what I have today for motivation, focus on what's right even when you have to deal with what's wrong, you get to pick what to emphasize in your life. Have a wonderful holiday.