Last week I shared that Mason was struggling with a strep infection and some side effects that were not adding up. He's been on antibiotics and feeling so much better! It's tough to see your child sick and this last week I got a taste of what it might be like to have a child who is not well. It was awful! I am not usually one to take for granted the things in my life that are good, things like our health, we have jobs, our family is happy, we love the community we live in, and so much more, but this little scare reaffirmed all that I am thankful for every single day.
We all have had crap that has made us sad or mad. Life experiences that have in some cases deeply affected who we are, but they are not forever - unless you choose to keep them alive forever. Continuing to focus on that which we don't have, past hurts, and the continual pity party that life is about a shitty job, stupid people, not enough money, blah, blah, blah just breathes new life each day into all those awful things. Be done already! Choose to be happy, and look at all you have that is joyous around you, I assure you, there is SO much to be thankful for if you will just choose to look. Do you struggle with letting go of the negativity in life?
I made a decision many years ago to not be a victim. I learned what it meant to take full responsibility for my life, and that meant understanding that where I am today is because of something I am doing or not doing. Not because my job sucks. Not because I couldn't catch a break to get my education earlier in life. Not because of any single thing someone else has done. I can recall darn near the exact moment this change happened for me and I was scared, I remember thinking, how can I control what other people do? If someone does this or that to me, it's not my fault. What I discovered is that it just plain does not matter what anyone else does, it only matters what I do - and don't do. I learned to not participate in illegal activity (seriously, that one was a no brainer!), I learned to get clear about what I wanted in life and I took steps to move in that direction. What I really learned is that other people don't really matter at all as long as I am clear about who I am, what I want, and how I want to get there. I found that by taking responsibility I had the power and control to make things happen, stop or start something, and make changes. As long as you live your life saying, "It's not my fault." "I didn't do it." "Not my job." you will never take control of your life, you will always be living your life at the mercy of other's choices.
On the other side of this are the circumstances of having people in your life who can't let go of all the bad and you simply cannot disconnect from them. Again, I come back to what I know - it is up to me to see the joy, to point it out and revel in it. Ultimately, there is a profound sadness that I feel for those who live like this; heavy, sad, mad, when really there is so much joy and light all around them. Who knows who may be there at the end of their lives, but I suspect they will wish they smiled more, looked to possibilities instead of disappointments, and spent more time with people they love instead of thinking of the things they still don't have and likely never will...not because they can't, but because if they make it happen to have it, they won't have the evidence of the disappointment to fall back on when they need to reference their list of all that's been sucky about their life.
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