Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's also been the best, most rewarding, and emotional journey I've ever been on. It seems to me as we head into the eye of the teenage storm that there is no right way, this is the "you just can't win" phase of parenting.
If you are an absent parent, a parent who is more into yourself than you are into your kids, or the parent who is technically there, but puts yourself first in terms of things and experiences, your kid as a teen will recognize that they are not your priority. Of course there are people who struggle with addictions or other issues that limit their ability to be the best parent they can be, even if they want to do better. There are parents who are overbearing, abusive, and crazy overprotective.
Even for parents who make their kids their priority, they provide them with opportunities from a very early age, they participate in a healthy home life with relationships that support teamwork, travel for personal growth, sports, success, and fun, and lift their kids up with affirmations of all they can do and tell them daily they love and are proud of them.
The teen will of course easily recognize the less plugged-in or abusive parents as those who don't care, they may feel not loved or even that they don't matter at all. We can all see that, but what about the latter group of parents? For me personally, it's been a rude awakening that there is no winning when young humans reach this particular age range and time in their human development. For those of us who have spent the last 15 years encouraging our kids to try, to do things that scare them, to foster a healthy self-esteem while also teaching them to be humble and kind. How on earth do you not cry when your child shouts at you that you are holding them back? When you voice that you think they would be crazy good at "fill in the blank" and they gasp with, "Why do you want to put me in your box?" What box? I'm simply noting that I believe in you, sharing ideas for how your personal strengths can work into different career paths.
It's been so hard to not cry when your child who used to hold your hand, wanted to cuddle on the couch, and share their ideas with you only wants to get as far away from you as they can. Just a parents mere presence in the same room as said teen will elicit eye rolls and a heaviness in the air that just sucks. I know it's normal. I know it's just a phase and all the time we spent encouraging them and lifting them up will come more clear to them as their brains fully develop. In their 20s they come back around and acknowledge that they love us and appreciate all we've done, but until then, this really sucks! sigh...Monday, July 22, 2019
Parenting is SO Hard!
Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's also been the best, most rewarding, and emotional journey I've ever been on. It seems to me as we head into the eye of the teenage storm that there is no right way, this is the "you just can't win" phase of parenting.
If you are an absent parent, a parent who is more into yourself than you are into your kids, or the parent who is technically there, but puts yourself first in terms of things and experiences, your kid as a teen will recognize that they are not your priority. Of course there are people who struggle with addictions or other issues that limit their ability to be the best parent they can be, even if they want to do better. There are parents who are overbearing, abusive, and crazy overprotective.
Even for parents who make their kids their priority, they provide them with opportunities from a very early age, they participate in a healthy home life with relationships that support teamwork, travel for personal growth, sports, success, and fun, and lift their kids up with affirmations of all they can do and tell them daily they love and are proud of them.
The teen will of course easily recognize the less plugged-in or abusive parents as those who don't care, they may feel not loved or even that they don't matter at all. We can all see that, but what about the latter group of parents? For me personally, it's been a rude awakening that there is no winning when young humans reach this particular age range and time in their human development. For those of us who have spent the last 15 years encouraging our kids to try, to do things that scare them, to foster a healthy self-esteem while also teaching them to be humble and kind. How on earth do you not cry when your child shouts at you that you are holding them back? When you voice that you think they would be crazy good at "fill in the blank" and they gasp with, "Why do you want to put me in your box?" What box? I'm simply noting that I believe in you, sharing ideas for how your personal strengths can work into different career paths.
It's been so hard to not cry when your child who used to hold your hand, wanted to cuddle on the couch, and share their ideas with you only wants to get as far away from you as they can. Just a parents mere presence in the same room as said teen will elicit eye rolls and a heaviness in the air that just sucks. I know it's normal. I know it's just a phase and all the time we spent encouraging them and lifting them up will come more clear to them as their brains fully develop. In their 20s they come back around and acknowledge that they love us and appreciate all we've done, but until then, this really sucks! sigh...
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