When the Whole is Tossed Away Because of One Point

Happy National Girlfriend's Day Jules! (August 1, 2020)

Remember when we took that "Thelma & Louise" weekend trip to Nashville? We road-tripped to the National BBQ Championships in Lynchburg, we found our "world's biggest ball of string" at The Old Stone Fort, we didn't dance enough but we drank too much! How did we do all the things we did in those 72 hours? Ah, to be young again! Circa 1999

It’s all just so sad. Relationships are being destroyed needlessly. I realize there are problems but giving ultimatums to people who have lived 60, 70, 80, and 90+ years, working hard, being kind, and sacrificing is not the way to bring them to your way of thinking. I mean really, does one subject (racism, civil rights, presidents, political parties, abortion, etc) make up the whole? If I’m pro-choice does that negate that I feed my neighbors, raise money for my community, support our veterans, and give to nearly every charity that asks? We are all good people. When you dig your heels in on one subject, think about the cost. It might be higher than you think. Even my 16 year old has said, “Hey, even if we don’t see eye to eye on some of today’s issues, I still hold you in high regard and respect you.“ Doesn’t it make more sense to stay close to people and continue to have the opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings and educate?

 

This meme spoke to me today and as I said today in an email reply, “Thank you for letting me know how you feel. I will not be meeting the requirements you outlined for our relationship at this time. Should the situation or your feelings about it change, you are both welcome in my life just as you are. I love you both deeply, be well."

This was in reply to a 16-page letter, typed in 10 pt font, single-spaced That spelled out not only why I’m racist, but that I buy into dismissive positivity, why the positive things I believe are completely wrong, in addition to links to videos, links to articles, and an entire page of references to where I can find the truth. It ended with a long list of all the things I have to do and ways I have to change to continue to be in a relationship with this couple. In essence, I need to agree and get on the bandwagon that they are on regarding racism and specifically "white fragility.”  If you’ve read the book or know anything about it you will know that there is not one single thing you can say that would not be “predictable” because you are white and “privileged.” 

 

 I’m just soaked with sadness about this... all of this.