Life's Not Fair!

It's been quite a week...I'm not sure where to start or what to say about it. It's been as if the moon and stars are not talking so everything is all out of whack. Yes, things are not in alignment right now.

All of you know that I usually see my life as darn near idyllic, but the last month that has not been the case. There have been unusual revelations, confessions of "imperfections" and questions by those of us reaching mid-life and questioning what the hell is going on?! Right? Many of you are right there with us, you are caring for young kids while having to deal with aging parents, work, school, and real-life in general - it ain't easy! When those stressors pile on, we tend to let go and release where we feel safest, at home. I want to ask why we do this, but that would be redundant because I know why, but I don't like it. On the flip side, there is something to knowing that we all have a safe place to let go and vent, a place where we can say what we really feel and mean. The danger comes when we reach a boiling point and explode! We say things we don't mean or at least say what we might partially mean in not so nice ways. It's communication that is just not conducive to understanding. We've all been there and hopefully, we've all found our way to the other, kinder and more loving side of life. 

Life is not fair, this I know. For all the little-life-lessons I feel like I've learned in 48+ years, I still don't understand so many things. I'm not going to bore you with the long list of shit that perplexes me, but suffice it to say, the list is getting longer. Why do people who lie and cheat make big money? Why is it that the banks/their executives that acted fraudulently during the mortgage crisis were never charged with a crime yet the lunch lady in Colorado is fired for feeding kids who have no money to eat? Why is it that big-box retail "says" they want to support small business but when they have an opportunity to make magic for a mom inventor, they put so many conditions on the deal it ends up costing the mom-inventor more to meet the conditions than she could ever possibly dream to earn? I can go on and on but of course, you and I both know that the bottom line is making money, them not us.

So many people I know are working so damn hard to make ends meet, to provide something a little more than the bare necessities for their families and yet it's still not enough. Moms especially feel like a failure when they don't make it to the end-of-the-school-year picnic and ceremony on time but fail to acknowledge that they got their kids (multiple grades/schools) to school on time, lunches made, picked up from school, to swim/soccer/football/theatre/fill in the blank practice, made time to work out (at 5 AM so as not to interfere with everyone else's schedules), picked up a sandwich for the picnic for her child while she ate plain chicken breast (that part goes with the 5 AM workout - and did I mention, this mom, in particular, has lost over 70 lbs in the last year? YES!) and work a full day at work...and she felt like a bad mom because she was late to the picnic. It's times like this that I want to cry, too. I want to cry with that mom and the dad who is working equally hard feeling like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and really just wants to relax and not have a to-do list that never seems to get shorter. The same dad who stops in at the local pub to have a beer and comes out to find his car has been hit and the jerk did not leave a note. Oh, and our kids, the ones we are working so hard to provide something better for just want more...they can't see how we are sacrificing so many of the things we want to do, and not do so they can have a new experience, go to the picnic, swim on the team, etc, etc, etc...until they see their mom cry, in public, at the picnic, because she was late, she felt like a bad mom.

Life is not fair, it's not and it makes me mad. Yeah, happy Kathy is not happy right now, she is not seeing the bright side and it's safe to say that her rose-colored glasses are broken. For those of you that get a little tired of the "Rah! Rah! Rah!" that is my typical message, relax because today I am with you, life is shit, it's not fair and it sucks...yes, some days, so much of it really sucks!  If you know someone who could use a kind word, a pat on the back, some appreciation or just an acknowledgment that they are enough, tell them, just tell them.